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"Unfaithful" (http://www.unfaithfulmovie.com/) (http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0250797/)
Directed by Adrian Lyne
Epsilon Motion Pictures
R / Argentina:13 / Sweden:11
2002
Reviewed by a contributor November 2, 2004, edited by mim3@mim.org November 7 2004
(Connie) I have to warn you, I tend to lead.
(Paul) Of course. You are an American.
It is possibly an expression of patriarchy that even half of wimmin in the united $tates "say they've faked an orgasm."(1) (Not only do wimmin feel they have to fake orgasm, having a real orgasm doesn't automatically mean sexual satisfaction or even sexual pleasure according to different studies looked at by this reviewer.) Yet, many wimmin in the united $tates seem to enjoy sex as indicated by the proportion of wimmin who have had "rebound sex," and perhaps even in terms of wimmin's cheating on their partners though fewer wimmin admit to cheating than men. According to the recent ABC News poll, 59% of wimmin in the united $tates, without even distinguishing Euro-Amerikan wimmin from other nationalities, enjoy sex "a great deal." "Women, though, are equally likely [as men] to express satisfaction with their sex lives."(1)
The ABC News survey is supposed to be more representative than previous surveys, but there is still some room for interpretation. On the other hand, another study(2) suggests that English- speaking, ever-married men and wimmin in the united $tates do not differ much in their attitudes toward extramarital sex (different from premarital sex), and that fewer surveyed wimmin have had extramarital sex than surveyed men. Although, the gender difference in married men and wimmin's extramarital sexual activity in the past year, at the time of the study, is not statistically significant. In other words, it is not just men who cheat on their marriage partners in the united $tates. This is an example why MIM refers to u.$. wimmin as "gender aristocracy," similar to men in their status on the patriarchal totem-pole.
The ABC News poll is timely. The movie "Unfaithful" revolves around a married, suburban, wealthy Euro-Amerikan womyn (Diane Lane) who enjoys sex so much that she repeatedly seeks it in a younger rare book dealer who is a French man, a "heartthrob . . . gorgeous." Of course, she has to be coerced into having sex by Paul first, before she enjoys it, which perpetuates the belief that wimmin want to be raped (in the unusual sense of "rape," not MIM's). This theme is common in the movies in one form or another.
Connie's friend Tracy (Kate Burton) chastizes Sally (Margaret Colin), "from Planned Parenthood," for thinking about cheating on her husband with the "heartthrob," who laughably just had sex with Connie in the restaurant restroom. Tracy admits to having cheated on her own husband. Later, Connie tries to end her relationship with Paul, but chickens out, which means that she fails to learn from Tracy and fails to take her advice.
While it is possible that some Euro-Amerikan wimmin do fantasize about being sexually assaulted—for whatever reason and without wanting to actually be sexually assaulted—"Unfaithful" clearly shows Connie resisting, physically and angrily, at some points. Then, as if she can't help herself, she seems to take pleasure in the sex, which she can never stop from happening once she's in bed. The context of this is Tracy's ignored warning about extramarital sex being "disastrous."
It's as if "Unfaithful" is trying to say something "complex" about adultery: that it is nobody's fault after the ball starts rolling. Even when Connie's husband, Ed (Richard Gere), kills Paul, it is seemingly nobody's fault because Ed had drunk vodka. To all of this, MIM would ask, what is the point?To teach male moviegoers that wimmin enjoy sex even if they are physically coerced into having it?
This reviewer is not disputing that some wimmin put themselves in Connie's position because they think that the benefits outweigh the costs or risks. But portraying any wimmin as enjoying sex after being battered does nothing to help any wimmin. It does not even provide clarity by identifying the majority of Euro-Amerikan as gender oppressors.(3) In fact, it confuses Euro-Amerikans with gender-oppressed people while setting a bad example with poor implications for all truly gender-oppressed people.
Trying to alleviate her fears when they first meet, Paul jokes that Connie can "sneak a peek at my prescriptions." He isn't an "axe murderer," he says earlier. The idea that the only predators are serial killers or mentally ill people is wrong. In fact, gender oppressors even include a minority of female-biology adults in the world, concentrated in oppressor nations, and most of these "women" have not been diagnosed with a mental illness.
(Ed) We don't have to stay here. We can, we can move back to the city.
(Charlie perks up.)
. . . (Connie) I'm fine. Everybody's fine, and we're not moving anywhere.
(Charlie nods in agreement.)
In "Unfaithful," Connie and Ed's son, Charlie (Erik Per Sullivan), is always looming in the background of the story. He is there waiting to be picked up by his late mother at school. (She was in bed with Paul.) He is there when his mom is crying, to give her emotional support. "Don't be sad, mom. Dad will be home tomorrow." He is there when he pees his pajamas in bed and goes to Connie crying. She "will always, always love you no matter what."
In one scene, Charlie acts and sings in a school play while dressed as a rabbit. Other children in the school play have animal costumes. Again (see the review of "Sixth Sense" (1999) on MIM's Web site), the camera viewpoints are located in the audience only, and the audience is enjoying the play. The camera moves from their eyes to the spectacle on the stage. There seems to be something enjoyable about seeing children standing in for animals.
At the beginning of the movie, Charlie is shown with his back on the floor, playing under the kitchen table with a hand-held video games. A few feet away from him is the pet dog eating out of a bowl. The camera purposefully looks at Charlie, then the dog, and then back at Charlie.
This supposedly idyllic family is contrasted with the same family falling apart later in the movie. The only constant is Charlie, who is kept ignorant by both of his parents though he senses some disturbance. "Unfaithful" never explores the gender oppression of children other than to depict some aspects of children's oppression in a superficial way.
The difference between Cole in "The Sixth Sense" (1999) and Charlie in "Unfaithful" is that Charlie is shown protesting having to dress up as a "dumb bunny." He also doesn't like wearing "dorky hats." Charlie's objections are quickly ignored.
Connie doesn't let Charlie brush his own teeth even though he is eight. She invasively brushes his teeth for him against his wishes. Later, she tells him to spit out his gum. She takes the wad of gum for herself and chews it.
Some previous movie reviews on MIM's Web site have talked about adults shutting children up when they talk back. To clarify, it's not that child- rearing in a society without patriarchy will use only the method of struggle. There is nothing intrinsically wrong about just shutting someone up (which might be a pacifistic kind of argument against "authoritarian" parenting styles). The problem with adults' ordering and pushing children around under patriarchy is precisely that it is happening under patriarchy, and that it is happening between men and wimmin (actual or proto- gender oppressors) as a group, on the one hand, and children as a group. This is not a matter of parenting "styles," but of the relationship that the monitoring, regulation and incapacitation of children, and their bodies, as a group has to children's oppression under patriarchy. The subordination of a child to an adult simply as a consequence of the child's being socially constructed as young will not exist under communism, without patriarchy. Child-rearing and childcare themselves will be revolutionized, and parenting, as the child- rearing relationship between an adult and a child to the exclusion of other adults and children, may disappear as patriarchy is destroyed after the socialist stage and in an advanced future stage of life called communism.
Monogamy
Despite its negative elements, "Unfaithful" illustrates what MIM has said about upper-class wimmin having "defined the feminist position as anti-monogamy because they do have other economic resources, and indeed other choices."(4) Connie, Sally, and Tracy, are obviously wealthy. Connie has a maid, who is a Black womyn, and Sally chews on her pearl necklace. Sally and Tracy both wear expensive jackets. Connie is so attractive that Sally wonders whether she's had plastic surgery, which she could, no doubt, afford.
Sally likens extramarital sex to taking a pottery class, while Tracy supports monogamy for Sally only because cheating on her husband would complicate Sally's marriage and family life. In contrast:
MIM advocates forever monogamy, with explicit agreement about the terms of the relationship spelled out, as the closest thing to consent under patriarchy. (5)
MIM and Tracy's support for monogamy (and MIM's position on asexuality as currently the most advanced sexual practice even if economically infeasible) come from different lines. For MIM, monogamy is connected to issues of gender oppression and economic security, not ideals of family and marriage harmony under patriarchy. Since Sally, a Euro-Amerikan womyn in the urban united $tates, is not economically dependent on Ed for subsistence, MIM's idea of monogamy as a means of economic security does not apply as much to her. Sally is a gender oppressor and may actually benefit in different ways from having multiple sexual partners. Despite that, MIM does not represent Sally's interests, because MIM cannot be everything to all classes and genders.
Although Sally types in real life are unlikely to consort with oppressed men likely to be with oppressed gender people, the gender oppressed would never forgive MIM for taking up Sally's interests and we also do not like the general influence she may have even if she does not directly consort with people who would be badly affected by her line. That's just to say people do not live on separate islands. This movie says something to all movie-goers, not just Sallys.
Finally, the assumption in the movie is not that wimmin, by default, don't like sex. As Lynn Norment for Ebony(6) suggests, wimmin may be able to enjoy sex as much as men do. "What they don't enjoy, Chapman and other therapists say, is sex with a man who is not sensitive to their needs, a man who has the antiquated notion that sex equals penile penetration." The depiction of gender oppressor Amerikans enjoying sex in movies may be of relatively small consequence in the overall scheme of oppressors, but transferred as an ideology to most of the world it is an excuse for the oppressor--that the oppressed enjoy being oppressed.
Interestingly, in "Unfaithful," Connie is depicted as enjoying receptive anal and vaginal sex. However, "although some women who frequently engage in sexual activity certainly enjoy doing so, others may not enjoy sex, in spite of high levels of sexual activity."(7) A high level of sexual activity may be related to either sexual enjoyment or "at least one incident of sexual abuse before age 18."(7) So even in the imperialist countries, we cannot say for sure that what is underlying sexual "pleasure" is positive. Only the communist future will remove all suspicions surrounding the truth about sex.
Notes
1. Gary Langer, Cheryl Arnedt, and Dalia Sussman, 2004 October 21, "Primetime live poll: American sex survey," on ABC News, http://abcnews.go.com/Primetime/News/story?id=156921&page=1
Also see:
"Survey reveals surprising sex attitudes," 2004 October 20, on ABC News, http://abcnews.go.com/Primetime/News/story?id=174461&page=1
2. Michael W. Wiederman, 1997, "Extramarital sex: prevalence and correlates in a national survey," Journal of Sex Research, 34(2), on LookSmart FindArticles, http://www.findarticles.com/p/articles/mi_m2372/is_n2_v34/ai_19551967
3. "Revolutionary feminism," on MIM's Web site, http://www.prisoncensorship.info/archive/etext/gender/
MCB52, 1995 June, "The oppression of children under patriarchy," MIM Theory, no. 9, on MIM's Web site, http://www.prisoncensorship.info/archive/etext/mt/mt9child.html
4. MC44 and MC12, "Jazz, gender and Jews: Spike Lee moves monogamy cultural criticism and the politics of the personal," 1990 October 1, MIM Notes, no. 45, http://www.prisoncensorship.info/archive/etext/mn/mn.php?issue=045
5. "Nevertheless : 1993," 1999 July, MIM Notes, no. 90, http://www.prisoncensorship.info/archive/etext/mn/mn.php?issue=090
6. Lynn Norment, 1998 March, "Sex and the new Black woman: myths and realities - cover story," Ebony, vol. 53, no. 5, http://www.findarticles.com/p/articles/mi_m1077/is_n5_v53/ai_20380707
7. Gail E. Wyatt and Monika H. Riederle, 1994, "Reconceptualizing issues that affect women's sexual decision-making and sexual functioning," Psychology of Women Quarterly, 18(4), 611-625, p. 618